Following the irregular deaths of three chickens on Krapanj this week, Krapanj News has carried out a detailed investigation, and has uncovered some startling facts.
It is a fact that human beings are out numbered on this planet 2 to 1 by chickens. While this might be just an amusing titbit of information to the average person, the sort of thing which might be found printed at the bottom of a page in a Reader’s Digest magazine, we at The Princey Foundation are profoundly concerned. If the chickens decided to press home their numerical advantage in an attempt to take over, could we stop them?
In an effort to answer that question, The Foundation created the Chicken Aggression Planning Operations Network (CAPON). Comprised of biologists, military strategists, fowl experts and football mascots from around the globe, CAPON was tasked with undertaking a feasibility study into the likelihood of a chicken uprising and the Human Race’s ability to resist it should it occur. That study is now complete, and CAPON has detailed its findings in a nine hundred page report that makes grim reading. A summary of that report appears below:
Humans versus Chickens – Are We Prepared? Click for full story.