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	<title>Krapanj Island News &#187; language</title>
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	<link>http://krapanj.com</link>
	<description>Krapanj is the smallest and lowest inhabited island on the Adriatic coast of Croatia - It is famous for sponge fishing. This website is managed from the smallest and lowest home on the island - it is possibly the worlds lowest website.</description>
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		<title>Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:</title>
		<link>http://krapanj.com/213/reasons-why-the-english-language-is-so-hard-to-learn</link>
		<comments>http://krapanj.com/213/reasons-why-the-english-language-is-so-hard-to-learn#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Sep 2006 08:51:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Peter Saxon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://krapanj.com/wp/archives/213</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. (You may get an error here on your grammar check; it&#8217;s even confused.) 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse &#8230; <a href="http://krapanj.com/213/reasons-why-the-english-language-is-so-hard-to-learn">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img id="image235" height=95 alt=architecture-subject-vt.gif src="http://krapanj.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/architecture-subject-vt.gif" /></p>
<p>1) The bandage was wound around the wound.<br />
2) The farm was used to produce produce. (You may get an error here on your grammar check; it&#8217;s even confused.)<br />
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.<br />
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.<br />
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.<br />
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.<br />
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.<br />
 <img src='http://krapanj.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_cool.gif' alt='8)' class='wp-smiley' /> A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.<br />
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. (another grammar check)<br />
10) I did not object to the object.<br />
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.<br />
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.<br />
13) They were too close to the door to close it.<br />
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.<br />
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.<br />
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.<br />
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.<br />
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.<br />
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.<br />
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.<br />
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s face it &#8211; English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.<br />
English muffins weren&#8217;t invented in England or French fries in France.<br />
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren&#8217;t sweet, are meat. </p>
<p>We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.<br />
And why is it that writers write but fingers don&#8217;t fing, grocers don&#8217;t groce and hammers don&#8217;t ham? </p>
<p>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn&#8217;t the plural of booth beeth?<br />
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? No. Two moose. One index, 2 indices? Doesn&#8217;t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?<br />
If teachers taught, why didn&#8217;t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? </p>
<p>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?<br />
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?<br />
Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?<br />
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. </p>
<p>English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.<br />
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. </p>
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		<title>Spell Checker</title>
		<link>http://krapanj.com/47/spell-checker</link>
		<comments>http://krapanj.com/47/spell-checker#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Jan 2005 19:28:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Peter Saxon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Eye halve a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It plainly marks four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am &#8230; <a href="http://krapanj.com/47/spell-checker">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Eye halve a spelling checker<br />
It came with my pea sea<br />
It plainly marks four my revue<br />
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.<br />
Eye strike a key and type a word<br />
And weight four it two say<br />
Weather eye am wrong oar write<br />
It shows me strait a weigh.<br />
As soon as a mist ache is maid<br />
It nose bee fore two long<br />
And eye can put the error rite<br />
It&#8217;s rare lea ever wrong.<br />
Eye Have run this poem threw it<br />
I am shore your pleased two no<br />
Its letter perfect awl the weigh<br />
My checker tolled me sew.</p>
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